Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

This $1 Food Could Help Fight Diabetes and Heart Disease - SciTechDaily

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

Corbin Burnes To Undergo Tommy John Surgery - MLB Trade Rumors

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

What is the appeal of vampire stories and why are they popular in various forms of media?

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I have complete contempt for traitorism

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

Ozempic has ‘very rare’ sight loss side effect, EU drugs regulator finds - politico.eu

I actually pay taxes

I understand how hurricane paths work

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

Childhood infections, stress may increase MS risk: Study - Multiple Sclerosis News Today

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

Former ‘Grey’s Anatomy’ star breaks down in tears over ALS diagnosis - PennLive.com

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I don’t buy bullshit

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

What are the primary benefits of using infrared sauna blankets?

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I can count

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

Real-World GLP-1 Weight-Loss Results Differ From Trials - Medscape

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I can read

SpaceX marks 500th Falcon launch with Starlink 11-22 Mission - Teslarati

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

Norris fastest as Piastri hits the wall during FP3 in Canada - Formula 1

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I have a reading level above third grade

Satellite Pics Show How Russia Tried To Avert Ukraine Drone Strikes, But Failed - NDTV

I see through liars

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

NASA Might Have Accidentally Landed Near A Volcano On Mars - IFLScience

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I don’t cotton to rapists

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I have complete contempt for fakery

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”